Colander to Miss Opening Tideswell Clash

Posted: March 14, 2012 in Cricket

***Press Release**For Immediate Release**Press Release***

Ken “Colander” Coker announced yesterday he will not be available for Tideswell CC’s opening fixture in their 2012 campaign. The 53 year-old keeper made public the shock news via his probation officer  agent yesterday. He said:

“I’ve had a fabulous winter in the Delhi Nights – just off the Eccleshall Road; great food, good service and a free pint of lager if you show a Tideswell CC fixture card – and I’m looking forward to moving on with Tideswell in the forthcoming season. However, such is the pressure of top level cricket these days, that I’ve opted to run the London Marathon on April 22 for Clic Sargent rather than spend five hours standing around in a muddy field just outside Manchester.”

Colander Finally Gets Something to Stick in the Delhi Knights

Colander Finally Gets Something to Stick in the Delhi Knights

Stunned team mates were too shocked to give full statements, but his spinning ally Mike “Rumple” Sayers commented: “Keep wicket? He couldn’t keep chickens…”

Skipper Dave “Bomber” Waining was unavailable for comment, but is thought to be resting in a darkened room with a revolver, a glass of whisky and a stick of rhubarb.

If you want to sponsor the Mighty Colander, you can do so here: Ken Coker VLM 2012

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